 |
| A graceless take-off |
Now, it is widely known that
Pelicans don’t have any leadership, per se.
Anyone can see that that has watched them for a while. But one day two
Pelican BFFs put their heads together--well, their heads and their supersize bills together, and Cindy said, “let’s have a Meeting
of all the Pelicans.”
 |
| Cindy and Phyllis |
Since there is no leadership, no pecking order so to
speak, to get the news out about the Meeting, the two Pelicans flew in opposite
directions in order to tell as many of their Brothers and Sisters as possible. Cindy
chose to fly into the wind, her
favorite direction. Her BFF Phyllis waited until she had flown off and then flew
with the wind on her tail feathers.
Now, being that the concept
of “Meeting” was new, Cindy and Phyllis had understandably failed to establish a
few parameters for the Meeting--parameters like exactly when it would take place. Cindy told the Pelicans she met along the way that the Meeting would
be tomorrow when the sun was at the highest point in the sky. Phyllis told the Pelicans
that she came across that the Meeting
would be when the sun was just a wings’ width from the horizon, late in the
day.
And…wouldn’t
you know it….Cindy and Phyllis had also
failed to discuss the exact location of the proposed Meeting (again, lack of
leadership) but that was not so much of an issue since Pelicans have excellent
vision. How else could they, while swooping over the water, suddenly dive in and
scoop up a fish? So, even if some
Pelicans went over on the edge of the marshes to meet (that was near where the
Two-leggeds got into their floating logs and made that awful racket before
churning up the water and moving on to open water) it didn’t much matter
because up in the air, the other Pelicans could see way over there. They would see
that over there, far in the distance there was a conflagration, a
clustering, er a lot of their Brothers and Sisters. So, anyway, it happened
that Cindy told all Pelicans that she
saw that the Meeting would be at the end of the Long Marsh, and Phyllis told
everyone she saw that the Meeting
would be at the inlet to the Big River. The job of spreading the word about the
Meeting having been completed, they went to find their partners and to get some
shut-eye.
There were an awful lot of Pelicans
that tried to sleep that night (on posts, pilings, breakwaters, piers, green
cans and red nuns, buoys, lighted channel markers, derelict boats, abandoned light
house structures, and under bridges,) all planning to go to the Meeting
tomorrow. Some were so excited they could hardly fall sleep. Honestly, it was a
very heady feeling for most, never having been invited to a Meeting before.
Some tried tucking their heads
under one wing, and then under the other wing….neither felt right somehow. So,
they turned around to face the other direction but then the wind was blowing up
their tail feathers instead of onto their long faces. That just didn’t feel
right either. Some tried letting their heads rest down between their feet but
then of course, their huge bills were in the way. That felt really wrong.
All in all, it was a night
charged with anticipation and some degree of discomfort. The combination lent
itself to poetry.
Going to a Meetin’, Going to a Meetin’.
A Big important meetin’.
 |
| Fancy male Pelican named Phil |
I’ll be Eatin’ at a Meetin’, Sleepin’ at a Meetin’.
Going to a meetin’.
A Big important Meetin’.
It goes without saying that Pelicans
are not known for their poetry. But, at
last the poetry worked its’ way through the Pelican population, and was
followed by thoughts about breakfast. “Mmmm—fish
for breakfast---mmmmm fi-i-i-i-i-ssssh.”
At last they all fell asleep.
It turns out that Pelicans
have a fairly rich dream life. Few people know this. The plots are endless: There’s
this one--It’s mating season and the options for mating are kinda cute; I’ll eat a strong tasting fish so my breath
smells good.
Or this one—A pod of dolphins
circles in the distance; Oooh, there must
be a lot of fish over there. I’m on my way.
Or, there’s this one which is
more common than one might think--Mother
just laid an egg; oh, great, another brother or sister. I wish she’d just knock
it off already.
And then this run-of-the-mill
plot—A huge, slow fish is moving just below the water’s surface. I’m the only one around. It’s mine!
 |
Ah, the dolphin dream. Where there are dolphins,
there are fish. |
The Flying Dream is naturally
a favorite with all Pelicans, for obvious reasons, as are Diving Dreams.
Pelicans wake up just before they hit the water, the same as the Two-leggeds do.
And like humans, many Pelicans have that dream where they are trying to do
something and it just doesn’t work right. Or they’re looking for something (a fish, what else) and just can’t find it. I just saw it—it was right there! Where
could it have gone? They look by the rocks; they look by the reef; they
look and look and it becomes terribly frustrating. This is a common Pelican nightmare. Frightening!
It’s especially hard for a
Pelican to act “cool” after a nightmare. There is the involuntary “squaack” of course, which awakens the
dreamer who then looks around quickly to see if anyone heard. Someone always hears it. Pelicans have very good
hearing in spite of having no visible ears. So, all the other Pelicans give the
dreamer the “Look.” Even in the
moonlight, it’s hard to miss that Pelican glare that says, “Look, buddy, you
had a nightmare—just deal with it, okay? I’m trying to sleep over here. I’ve
got my own problems.”
 |
| "I slept fine last night; how about you, George?" |
When the sun rose, many Pelicans
were still a bit sleepy, but rather energized with thoughts of the “meeting.”
Now, when Pelicans are sleepy, their timing and aim can be off by an inch or two
which can mean “no breakfast.” A hungry Pelican is a crabby Pelican. Everyone
knows that. A Pelican with Narcolepsy, a common disorder among Brown Pelicans
(where the brain slows way down and drops the owner off to sleep at inopportune
times) will have the same problem with timing and aim. That is why Pelicans dive headfirst into the
water to get their fish.
There are some that think
they dive headfirst in order to take the fish by surprise, but it’s actually
awfully hard to take a fish by surprise. Fish eyes can roll around and look in
every direction. No, the real reason is that a headfirst dive sort of slaps the
Pelican awake. Splash! “AHHHH.” An awake and alert Pelican is an accurate
Pelican. That’s what mothers tell their hatchlings. “Now, go out there and
dive. Pointy end first.”
The hatchlings do not need
instruction on how to crash land feet first onto the surface of the water. They
crash naturally. Everyone knows that. It’s not worth discussing. And anyway,
Pelicans care little about graceful movements.
In fact, they don’t even have a word for “grace.” There are a lot of
other things they don’t have words for as well, but this is one that other more graceful Birds, think is sorely lacking in the Pelican vocabulary.
But to a Brown Pelican, it is simply irrelevant. Proof of this is obvious when
a Pelican lifts up off the water to fly. It puts one in the mind of a frog
trying to gather himself up with hopes of being airborne. In the Pelican’s
case, he does succeed but it ain’t pretty.
So, one by one the Pelicans
awoke, cranked their necks a little, right then left, stretched out their
wings, flapped a time or two to work out the kinks and then went airborne. Within moments, each would dive, the first
dive of the day. Splash. “AHHHHH—that
felt good!” And then the serious soaring
and scanning of the waters would begin. Breakfast doesn’t just fall into their
laps, you know. Or, fall into their
gullets, as the case may be. A Pelican has to work for it. And a Pelican can’t
be overly fussy either. It could be
like, “Hmmmm……there’s a school of little silver fish. I had those for breakfast
yesterday. A little bland for my taste, but….well, there’s breakfast. Okay,
here I go.” Splash!
 |
| "It ain't especially tasty, but it's breakfast." |
All across the waters, Brown Pelicans
were doing the same thing. “There’s a fish.” Splash! You might think that fish would get wise to this daily
pattern and move farther out to sea, but you would be wrong. Fortunately for
Brown Pelicans there is a shortage of wise
in fish populations.
Dennis and Rich and their
friend, the Other Dennis were three of the Pelicans that had talked with Cindy
the day before and after a couple hours of fishing they got into an argument.
The argument was about the rules to a popular game that had become all the rage. The game was “How Much Water Can You Hold in
Your Gullet?” Other Dennis had learned it where you had to hold the water in
your gullet and then fly. But Dennis said “No, they changed the rules; you just
have to hold it while sitting in the water.” And Rich agreed. Finally the sun
was at its’ highest point and they headed toward the Long Marsh where the
meeting was to take place. There was no one else there. We must be early they
thought.
 |
| "Wait, wait, I think I see Randy and Lucinda over there." |
So, Dennis and Other Dennis and
Rich sat on the water and waited. Pelicans are extremely good at waiting in
place. It is probably one of their more endearing qualities. In fact, sometimes
they have Waiting competitions. For example, one might say, “I have been
sitting under this bridge since the sun was over there, pointing with one wing.
I bet you can’t sit here that long.” Betting
is optional but does add to the
thrill of the competition.
Some distance away, Phil and
Lucy, Randall and Lucinda, Glenn and Jan (wait, where was Glenn anyway, he wasn’t there—where in the world does that guy
disappear to?), Bonnie and Gerry, Carl and Ardys, and George and Connie had
completed their breakfast diving and were taking advantage of an abandoned
fishing boat that was hung up on the rocks in the river bend for a little rest.
There was some degree of
gossiping that went on, to tell the truth. This is one of the least endearing qualities
of Pelicans, maybe even the worst one. No no, wait, the worst would be jamming
one’s bill through the fleshy part of another Pelican’s gullet. I mean, that is serious business. And it’s not like a
Pelican can get disability for a thing like that either.
Well, the gossiping went as
follows. Lucinda, Jan and Bonnie found that they were all of the opinion that Cindy
and Phyllis were just a little too uppity for their own good. Connie and Ardys abstained
from offering an opinion on the matter. That wasn’t going to get them any
points either because abstaining is like judging the gossipers. Judging is an
undesirable quality for a Pelican--undesirable with a capital “U.” So, Lucinda,
Jan and Bonnie ruffled their feathers and went, “Hmmmmph.” And then Lucy
quipped, “Well, it sure is something new isn’t it….a Meeting. What will we do
there?” And that kind of put an end to
the gossiping for the time being.
After a hearty mid-morning
snack, a generous lunch of baby grouper, and an afternoon snack, they all
headed over to the inlet to the Big River. They crash landed, as usual. Except
for Randall who decided to sneak in one last fish before the meeting. It wasn’t long before lots more Pelicans were
crash landing at the inlet to the Big River.
Cindy and Phyllis showed up there, along with their partners, Dennis and
Rich and their friend, Other Dennis whom they had discovered in the final round
of the Waiting Competition by the Long Marsh. Cindy and Phyllis had recognized
where their communication was lacking from the day before and went over to
collect their partners. There were many other Pelicans there, too, but since
they’d waited so long, many of them stayed until the final round of Competitive
Waiting was over.
“Dennis,” by the way, is a
somewhat popular Brown Pelican name, as is Phil and Carl. You would be hard
pressed to count the number of Pelicans named Phil and Carl in the throng of
Pelicans that gathered. Not many Ardyses but they’re out there if you look hard
enough. As for counting, well, Pelicans have very limited counting
ability. They go like this, “First,
there’s me and you and then you and you and you. That’s a lot of yous.
I’ve never seen so many yous all in
one place.”
The Pelicans landed over at
the Inlet to the Big River in no particular order. Who knew anything about
Meeting, anyway? At least most Pelicans faced in the same direction which meant
that Cindy and Phyllis could sit on the water facing them all. They looked at
each other. “What do we do now?” they said.
Phil suggested, “Start the
meeting.”
“Yes, but how do we do it,” asked Phyllis. Gerry
chimed in that they should just start talking. “Well, of course, that’s easy
for you to say, Gerry. You talk all
the time. Even during mating season, we all hear Gerry….talk talk talk. How do
you ever get anything, you know… done?”
Gerry flapped his wings and
tried to make himself look decisive, a Pelican with deep resolve. “I do quite
nicely, thank you very much. Bonnie nodded her head coyly.
Dennis said, “Well, I waited all morning and afternoon for this. Now
it’s time to have that Meeting, and where’s the buffet?”
The Other Dennis said,
“Yeah.” The Other Dennis was a Pelican of few words.
Connie timidly put forward
the question that should have been on
everyone’s minds, but apparently was not. “What is the Meeting about? Why did
you get us all together?”
 |
| Great White Egret |
Cindy and Phyllis answered in
unison. “Because the Great Egrets have Meetings,
and so do all the Herons and the Roseate Spoonbills, the Snowy Egrets and even
the Night Heron. Of course, they are all very secretive about them, but we have
it on good authority that they do.”
“Wait a minute,” Lucinda said
with a frown. “Are you implying that we should have a Meeting just because some
other Bird Brains are having them? Is that a good enough reason for all yous?”
she asked looking around her at all the yous, even the yous way in the back.
“Well, I for one have never
been someone to just follow the flock. That’s for the Birds. The OTHER birds,
I’m saying, not this bird.”
volunteered Carl, with an attitude that was frankly, well, pompous.
 |
| A secret meeting of Ibises |
There was a lot of head
nodding among the yous. “Well, maybe that is the problem right there?’ said
Lucy tentatively.
Suddenly Glenn came in for a
crash landing next to his partner, Jan. “Where have you been?” she hissed at
him? “It was so embarrassing for me to not know where you were.”
“Oh, am I late?” Glenn
grinned. “Well, that’s a first,” he said
with a wink and a gleam in his eye.
“Oh, brother, here we go
again. I’m left here holding down the home pier and you are off doing god knows
what. Honestly, I don’t know why I put up with you.” Jan mumbled looking hurt.
“It’s because of my charm, my
dear.” And Glenn rubbed the side of her head with his.
“Oh for Pete’s sake,” said
George. “Take it to the swamp.”
Pelican Pete, over on the far
side perked his head up. Did he say Pete?
 |
| "Were you talking about me?" |
Bonnie paddled herself
forward just a little to float near Cindy. “Now, some of you know that Cindy
and Phyllis and I don't always see eye to eye on things. But at the same time, I’ve always said, What’s good for the goose is good for the
gander. Don’t you all agree?”
Pelicans are by nature,
inclined toward agreeableness, and so there was a smattering of head nodding,
of a somewhat tentative nature. “What
are we agreeing to?” they mumbled, looking furtively around themselves. At
which point, the head nodding turned into head shaking.
“What are you suggesting,
Bonnie?” Jan said.
“Wait, wait, I get it,” said
Glenn with glee.
All the yous began talking at
once. The yous way in the back joined in, too, even though several of them had
no idea what the topic was. It sounded kind of like this… “Squaack, squaack, squaack, SQuaack, squaack, squackk, squaack, squaack.
SQUAACK, squaack, squaacck, squaack, squaack, squaack.”
“You weren’t even here at the beginning, how could you get it?” said Carl.
 |
| The finalists in the Waiting Competition |
“Wait, this isn’t getting us
anywhere,” shouted Phyllis. “What
exactly do you get, Glenn?”
“Well, isn’t it obvious? We
can be more than the sum of us.” Glenn explained.
“What’s a sum?” said George.
“We can have a presence, a
meaningful presence in the Long Marsh, the Big River, the Inlet and even on the
Big Water. We can decide things as a group of yous. We could say, ‘this is
this’ and ‘that is that’ and we’d all agree on some things. Wouldn’t that be
nice?”
“Hmmph,” Phil countered. “That’s
sounds like a bunch of whooey from someplace far away.”
“Well, I think I would like to have a presence,” said Ardys softly,
at last adding to the conversation. “I’ve never had a presence before. It sounds…..pleasant.” And she smiled.
“Well, ain’t that just peachy-keen
for you, Chicky Poo?” hooted one of
the yous way in the back.
Ardys’s partner Carl, raised
himself to his full height in the water and said, “That’ll be quite enough of that, now. I am the only one allowed to call her by that name.”
“Seriously, this doesn’t have
to get testy, does it?” Cindy called out, so everyone could hear.
Bonnie agreed, as did Lucy
and several other yous.
“And anyway. Be kind to others is what I always say,”
said Lucy. “And if you can’t, well then, keep it to yourself. Take it home I
say. Don’t taint our Meeting with sarcasm.”
“Is this a Meeting now?”
asked Connie.
“I prefer the use of the word
“Congress” instead,” said Phil. “Can I hear an ‘Aye’?”
Everyone ignored Phil.
“Well, here’s what I see,”
said Randall. “A bunch of yous with not much to say for yourselves. Is there
any among yous that even has a hobby?” Nobody
raised a wing.
“Does anyone have interests
outside of eating?” No wings up for that question either. A little cluster of
young male Pelicans that were looking forward to their first mating season,
poked each other with their beaks good-naturedly.
“See, there you have it. We
have a very narrow perspective on our world.
We need a birds-eye view. I mean, a different
kind of bird’s eye--like maybe an eagle
eye or an osprey eye. And we need some leadership.” finished
Randall.
“Now wait just one goll-darn
little bit here. I didn’t come here to sign up for leadership. I’ve never had
leadership, why do I need it now?” said Dennis with an attitude.
The Other Dennis raised a wing;
he meant it as a way to request the floor, er, water stage for a bit. “If we had leadership, maybe we’d have Meetings
where we knew what they were for and
where and when they were. Just a thought.” He shrugged and withdrew a little
behind Dennis.
“Exactly,” said Cindy and
Phyllis together.
“But who would be the leader?
Would there be only one? Would he or she have a title? Would we have to do
anything the leader told us to do? Even if we disagreed with it?” Connie wanted
to know.
“And how do we choose a
leader? What if I want, say… Lucinda
here to be the leader but yous want
the Other Dennis?” George asked.
“Hold on there one little
pickin’ minute. I don’t want to be a
leader,” protested Other Dennis.
“I was just using you as an
example,” explained George.
“Ya, well I’m not gonna be an
example, so just yous all remember that. Just sayin’.” Other Dennis reaffirmed
his position and retreated again.
“Times up,” interjected
George. “Meeting’s over,” he said. “It’s getting dark and nobody here is a bat.
I say we call it a night for now.”
“Are we going to do this again?” shouted one of the yous way
in the back.
“Whatever this was.” George nodded. “I think we
should. We might accomplish something.
“Like what?” Carl asked.
“Ya, like what?” a little
chorus of voices chimed in.
Meanwhile Cindy had caught a
piece of tree limb floating by in the current and climbed on top of it, so that
she sat a little higher than all the other yous. She braced herself against Phyllis’s foot so
that she didn’t float away on the current. “Like a lot of things. Like when do we want to start moving north. Instead
of all of us just wandering about like Loons. Like sharing information about the best fishing spots. Like what can we
do to help a few of us that are
struggling to catch enough food. Things like that.” She finished.
 |
| Fish who do not want to be breakfast for the Pelicans |
It was, frankly, difficult to
disagree with any of what Cindy said, and so the yous were silent for a bit.
Except for the odd one now and then who absent-mindedly flew off to capture a
nearby fish. And then returned again with
a crash after the fish was history.
“Oh, fer Pete’s sake. And NO,
I am not talking about you, Pete,
over there. I’m just using your name as an example,” Randall said. “It’s time
to do something here, before we all just turn into a bunch of birds of a
feather. “Here’s a thought, just raise a
wing if you want to have another meeting.”
 |
"We could learn a few things from ospreys."
"What? I am not taking lessons from an osprey." |
It looked as if all the yous
raised a wing. “Can anyone count up the wings?” Randall asked. “No? Well, let’s
try this then. Raise a wing if you do not
want another meeting.” Only a few young yous that had a reputation for being
wise-guys raised a wing, and snickered behind a bent wing.
“Okay, well that’s a wrap
then. The wings have it. Now I am going to check out a new area for fish.” And
Phil started to levitate from the water.
In rapid succession, Dennis
and Other Dennis, Rich, Phil and Carl, Randall, George and Gerry all rose up
out of the water. Nobody looked good doing
it, Pelicans being prone to graceless entrances and exits as was previously
discussed. As they flew off, Rich called back, “So, Glenn, where do you go when
you disappear?”
 |
| "Are we meeting here? Or over there? Somebody has to decide." |
Glenn shouted back to his
friends, “It is a mystery isn’t it?
See you all later.” And Glenn nuzzled up alongside Jan for some much needed
forgiveness time.
“That guy is such a
brown-noser, isn’t he?” his friends said to one another as they flew off.
“What’s a brown-noser, guys?”
Gerry geared up to share some of his thoughts. “I’ve never understood that
phrase. I’ve thought on it and thought
and it just doesn’t make any sense to me. First, you have to figure out, what
exactly is a nose? Why don’t we have them? Or do we? And if we do, are they
brown? I’m not good with colors but it seems to me that our gullets are more of
a shade like the sand. In fact, I told
my wife the other day, I said, Bonnie, what’s a..,,,”
“Oh, do Shut up,” all the
others called back to Gerry, good-naturedly.
And that was the first meeting
Congress of the Pelicans.
