Who's the Idiot Now

All right, it was me that was the idiot after all.

Colombian street artist in Bogotá

Sometimes I just want to cry. Unbeknownst to me, there was a specific name attached to the program for seniors who want to audit classes at the U. of Memphis. Without realizing that bit of information, I had applied to the undergraduate school at the U. of M. as a non-degree seeking student, assuming that the fact that I am a senior would come out in the wash.

I thought it would be kinda like this….

“Is this a tuition-paying student? ____yes  __X__no 

“Is this a senior auditing a class without charge?  __X__yes  ____no

And then, it would be like, “Voilé. You’re an Art student. Here’s your student ID, parking permit and your Art class is over there. Welcome to the U. of Memphis and we are so glad to have you.”

No, it didn’t turn out like that at all. None of that happened today. Idiot!

I should know by now that in the Ardys world of technology, there is no such thing as a simple outcome.

Bogotá

In fact, it turns out that my lack of understanding was a total deal breaker. Although the Art class instructor had written a permit for me to register for the class, it was of no use because I hadn’t applied through the correct channels to begin with. Therefore, when I went to campus this morning to register in person for the Art class, I was informed by a very nice woman in the Registrar’s Office, exactly where I had gone wrong.  And she explained that, unfortunately, there was no fixing the error of my ways. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not in this semester. I had failed to understand how the system works. Therefore I was not invited to walk over to my long-awaited Drawing class. Once again, it was me all along.  Idiot!

Sigh...My ego has taken a hit here. It’s bad enough that every store has a different kind of electronic machine for taking one’s credit card and that I don’t always figure them out immediately. Why can’t they all be the same? And those self-checkout aisles in stores throw me for a loop sometimes. Why do I have to get help from someone to pay for my potatoes? Did you know that if you don’t put your purchase into a bag on the counter immediately, the machine chastises you? Apparently, the lack of weight on that side distresses the electronic entity.

Bogotá door in Old City

Well, I’ll tell you what distresses me. I have accepted the fact that Mrs. GPS doesn’t like it when I don’t go the way she wants, even when I know my way is just as good. And I accept that I need a card to get into my building, and into my parking lot. But I don’t like it that I can’t figure out how to get out of my gated lot the same way I came in, when I’m on foot. Why do I need to be in a car for it to work? 

And why does my car lock the back doors as soon as I get out of the car? Is that supposed to be an electronic improvement? I don't think so.

And why do we have three smoke alarms in our apartment, each of them within three feet of the other two.  And all three within six feet of the stove, so that they can all alarm every time we toast or bake anything. Who needs that much alarm in their lives?

And why doesn’t our printer work right today? The light is on and the computer says it’s connected, but the printer says it’s not connected. I don’t like these technological disagreements. I don’t know who to side with.

Old City Candelaria, Bogotá

I haven’t learned how to work our TV yet. Frankly, I’ve never understood why we need to have two remotes for one TV, and now, it’s even worse than it was when we lived on land before. Because now, there are even more kinds of option thingies like Roku and Hulu and blah, blah, blah and god knows what all else and I’m afraid to touch the dumb thing. Do you know that two days ago, we actually had to have someone from the front desk at our motel come up and show us how to make the TV screen come on? 

My phone is annoying, too. It comes up with bizarre quirks that baffle me. The latest weirdness is that the screen sometimes zooms in on a single point on a map so closely so that I can’t see anything! And when I try to correct it, the screen backs off into outer space. I don’t want that much perspective on my home planet.

Am I just complaining like a frustrated senior (with a small “s”) now? Why yes, in fact, I am. All of these “improvements” are great, I suppose. Some of them lead to advances in medicine? Helping people to live longer and all of that…that’s a good thing. But all the rest of it? I just miss when things were a little simpler.