Weird Memphis

I don't consider a decorated garbage receptacle weird. It's creative.

There are some weird things I have noticed about Memphis. And when I say “weird,” I do not mean it in a pejorative way. I only mean to say, these are things that have surprised me, more than some other things in this new (to me) city.

A yard sign that reads:

“Obituaries by Tony. 

Starting as low as $95.”

This is a profession that I have never considered, but perhaps I should look into it. I’d especially like the challenge of “making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear” if the need arose.

I don't think this is weird either.
Rather, it is very clever.

Drivers that I call “hockey players” abound. Some drivers, while preparing to move into my lane in front of me, first spend time traveling within my lane right alongside me before finally completing the lane change. Perhaps only 8” away from my car door! It is terrifying! These drivers operate a lot like hockey players that swoop and swerve around and in between other skaters, cutting the corners as they zip past. We’ve had three near sideswipes in as many days.

Hattie B's, get yer hot chicken here

All doors on houses and commercial buildings sport the very same door, no matter whether it’s a shack or a mansion, the very same door. A ubiquitous heavy glass door with iron bars. Whatever company manufactures these doors has made a killing in the Memphis market.

Although we are in a city, there are too few options for someone with a penchant for sewing to purchase supplies. And the one, and only one genuine fabric store is 30 minutes away. Unbelievable!

Found parked next to our car. Not weird.
Just creative advertising.

Alternatively, there are lots and lots of restaurants around us. I googled “restaurants within 20 miles.” I stopped counting at 89 restaurants because there was no end in sight. Barbeque is sold at most of them, but only some of them sell take-out barbeque, which is something that is as commonplace as taking a shower. Maybe more so. (I don’t think you’re allowed to live in Memphis if you don’t like barbeque.)

New boots, to blend in.

All women wear black short boots when they go shopping, and apparently wherever else they go, as well. I finally bought some in an effort to blend in. Maybe this is a nation-wide phenomenon and I just don’t know it because I came here from a sailboat.

Many of the young people here wish they lived in a colder climate. You can tell who they are because they wear down coats and Ugg boots as soon as the temperature drops below 60 degrees.

Eating at Stone Soup, Midtown. My husband
loves a nice bowl of greens. I'm eating the
excellent grits in a bowl.

When entering certain grocery stores, I see people coming out with shopping carts filled with greens: mustard greens, turnip greens, collard greens…huge bundles of them. Are they feeding their entire neighborhoods? Can I live there?

Grits are delicious! Especially when made with bacon and butter. I felt compelled to buy some to make at home. If that’s not weird, I don’t know what is.

Our washer and dryer, conveniently
located on our balcony.

It is not unheard of to have a washer and dryer that lives outside. I can say this with confidence because ours are outside in a little room that is built on our balcony. So, yes, I go outside onto the balcony now to wash clothes. Even in the winter. I sure didn’t see that coming.

You can buy anything and I mean anything on Facebook Marketplace. Who knew? Sellers place the item on their front porch and the buyer drives up, slips the money under the Welcome mat or in the mailbox and takes the item away. The buyer and seller never even see each other. Genius!

I accidentally left my wallet lying on a display of Pepsi cans in a gas station in a neighborhood where I am told not to stop after dark. When I realized where I’d left it and returned to the gas station, my wallet had been turned in to the cashier and there was nothing missing! Gasp!

 

Prince Mongo's "Castle"

And lastly, the following is by far, the very weirdest of all. Without our awareness, we have moved next door to a well-known “castle.” Visitors always want to take a look at it from our west balcony. The “castle is owned by the self-named Prince Mongo. He is known citywide, even nation-wide. He has run in nearly every mayoral race in Memphis since 1991. He has lost each time, quite badly in fact. He has had strong disagreements with his neighbors over his front yard “artwork.” His artwork has included coffins, 50 toilets, mannequins, beach umbrellas and Christmas trees in February. He has stated that his Christmas changes “depending on the moon and the energy lines.” He has drawn attention to himself by howling at the moon from his rooftop, walking an invisible dog and always going barefoot, even in the winter. When he hears that somebody thinks he’s crazy, he states that he is, in fact, “misunderstood.”

Prince Mongo made national news when he appeared in court for violations of dumping trash in an enemy’s yard. The reason he made national news was because of his apparel in the courtroom: green body paint, a green cape, green goggles and he was wielding a rubber chicken. (It is unclear to me whether he was wearing anything under the green cape). When the judge ordered him to wear normal clothing in the courtroom he refused, and was jailed for 10 days and fined $13,875.

 

Built in late 1800's to
resemble a castle

The prince states that he is the 333-year-old Ambassador who came to Earth from the planet Zambodia. Prince Mongo’s mother, Mrs. Hodges (no royal title) would likely disagree and say that she named her son Robert. The prince is a former nightclub owner and owns several pieces of real estate here in Memphis. His other homes are in Virginia Beach and a million-dollar mansion in Fort Lauderdale. His stated plans for the future include starting a Zambodian Planetology Church, which he says, “will be a very interesting church.” (I can’t imagine anyone disagreeing with that prediction).

You can’t make this stuff up.